The Funniest Yogi Berra Quotes of All Time

As one of the best baseball players who ever lived, Lawrence Peter “Yogi” Berra was a superstar in every way. Berra played 19 seasons in the majors and spent just one year not playing for the New York Yankees.

An 18-time All-Star, Berra won a whopping 10 World Series championships as a player, all with the Yankees.  Widely regarded as one of, if not the best, baseball catchers in history, there is something else Berra is best known for. Better known as “yogi-isms,” Berra is also beloved for dropping some great quotes. 

Switch Hitter

As Yogi Berra was well-known for misusing words or malapropisms, it’s only fitting to have at least one make this list: “He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.”

Great Advice

“Always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise, they won’t go to yours.” A little tongue-in-cheek humor from Yogi!

Pizza Cutting

“You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.” Obviously, the pizza size doesn’t change no matter the number of slices.

Mental Baseball

Yogi wasn’t wrong on the first part of this quote, but his math might need some checking. “Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.” Some things are worth giving 180%.”

Traveling

One of the most famous Yogi Berra quotes: “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up somewhere else.”

Fork in the Road

Yet another laugh-out-loud quote from Yogi: “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

Not a Slump

Yogi famously yelled at someone who said he was in a hitting slump, “Slump? I ain’t in no slump! I just ain’t hitting.”

Monetary Things

Another example of something we can call “Yogi Berra math” is his quote on things losing their value: “A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.” This sounds about right!

Encyclopedia and School

“I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.” Oh, Yogi, if only it were that simple.

Too Crowded

In typical Yogi fashion, he said, “No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.” This is exactly what Yogi would say.

Two Activities

“How can you think and hit at the same time?” Same Yogi, same.

Conversations

Another Yogi-ism that lives on: “It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much.”

Switching Bats

Yogi knows exactly how to get himself out of a hitting slump: “I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”

On Posterity

Oh, Yogi, if only it were this easy. “I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.”

Answering Questions

When asked a question Yogi didn’t know the answer to: “I wish I had an answer to that because I’m tired of answering that question.”

The image featured at the top of this post is ©Nancy Ostertag / Getty Images.